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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109437">Only for the Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabarets/pseuds/cabarets'>cabarets</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Code Blue: Doctor Heli Kinkyuu Kyuumei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, i'm deleting my manuscripts, it's only here for archival reasons, you'll all hate it i promise you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabarets/pseuds/cabarets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I’d hope you’d humour me this time— for the last time, just this once. I promise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aizawa Kousaku/Shiraishi Megumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only for the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The working title of this was "I'm Getting Married in the Morning", it was something I had been contemplating for awhile if I should make public, I guess that won over me. I talk about it further in the afterword, so I don't spoil anything else.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Megumi,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s been years since we last spoke, five to be exact. I’ve tried reaching out to you, but I didn’t, I couldn’t knowing that you completely crossed me out from your mind. I do not blame you. I would’ve done the same to me too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, before you throw this out, before you move on with the rest of your life, I’d hope you’d humour me this time— for the last time, just this once. I promise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that for a time you were so angry about me, about us— but I also knew that you’d stop feeling that way eventually. At the same time, I know that you no longer care. I’m glad to see you have reached that point.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I left, that’s when I realised I was the biggest idiot because I didn’t treat you the way you should have been treated.When you were gone, that’s when I recognised everything I’ve done wrong— all of the shortcomings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You were the total package, truly, and I’ve realised that too late. I’ve wasted the time I had with you, Megumi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s where I understood why you did what you had to do. I understood why you grew tired— why you had to stop fighting. You were giving your all, even more so, and yet you were receiving lesser and lesser each time. I’m glad you did this. I’m glad for I would’ve never learned. I would’ve never learned how to truly value someone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, Megumi— really. Thank you. I know it’s been years since we broke up, since we’ve last spoken to each other— I don’t even think we’d ever speak to each other again after this, however, I would like you to know, if this is truly the last time, that you’ll always be a part of me. You’re part of my life, Megumi. I don’t think that would ever change. Whatever I have now, is because of you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I already know what you’re thinking. Yes, I am well aware that you are getting married. I hoped that you have found yourself someone better, someone who can put in an equal amount of love, effort, understanding, and patience as you do— and who’d be willing to give a little bit more of that when needed. It seems like you’ve already found that someone. I hope he keeps you on your toes and interested in what life has to offer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We’re really getting old now, huh? Maybe I should think about settling down now too. Don’t worry too much about it, I can handle that. I promise to not push the people who want to be part of my life away, to do everything I didn’t get to do for you. I don’t want to lose them the way I lost you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well Megumi, I hope that you’ll never again go through life again feeling less than whole. You deserve nothing less than every happiness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All my love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kosaku</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know what you're thinking, why on earth am I posting new work when I have a whole fic left unfinished?</p><p>Well, for one, this isn't new work— this was sitting on my manuscript folder for a long time. I'm honestly putting this out for compensation, which I know would not suffice. If I'm being honest, I don't actually know if I'm going to continue "Not Even The Rain", which is really hard for me to say. I'm trying to give it closure like I should, but I just could not bring myself to it. It's either I just have a really bad case of writers block, or I actually lost the will to write. We'll see in the next few weeks, I will formally let everyone know whatever I have decided. I'm really sorry for delays on my end.</p><p>Anyway, I don't really want to end on a low note, and if you've read this far — nice. You deserve some sort of context as to what I was going for then.</p><p>Well, as much as I want them to be together and live happily ever after, I wanted something different. Something along the lines of a love never meant to stay. I also wanted to play with a storyline where they actually don't end up together, but there was still this sort of air between them. God, I know—depressing. Isn't FujiTV giving us enough grief? (Go to TBS, they're better lol). No, it's not an affair story, in case you were wondering. I guess as mainly an angst writer, this was a direction I was inevitably going to go to anyway. I also like the idea of letters/messages in fiction, maybe I'm just a period drama enthusiast, but the idea of getting a letter from someone— it's so <em>intimate</em>. I think at the time, I was contemplating on the ideas of great loves, are not necessarily the right loves. I know, I can already hear you telling me you hate it. Don't worry, I don't think I'll write it. This is just for archival reasons so I can delete the rest of my manuscripts.</p><p>Anyway, enough of me rambling, this is getting longer than the prompt itself. Thanks for reading this far lol! Hope that you're doing well and staying safe in these times. ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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